The following story discusses the loss of a baby and miscarriage. Readers who may be sensitive, please take note.
I applied to Cisco 32 times.
Yes, from 2016 to 2020, I applied to Cisco 32 times, driven by the dream of joining a company that values its employees.
In 2020, an amazing Emerging Talent Recruiter reached out to me and persuaded me to try one more time. I was reluctant because my feelings were still hurt from not getting selected after interviewing the year prior, but I obliged and applied.
This time, I got the job.
I joined Cisco in January 2021 as a Technical Consulting Engineer in the CX Technical Assistance Center (TAC). My cohort of 21 network engineers underwent six months of rigorous training and testing. I passed the customer service exam on the first try but failed the technical exam twice — spectacularly. With only one attempt left, I had no room for distractions. But life had other plans when I discovered I was pregnant.
I was elated to be a mom, but the timing was awful. I was sick almost every day of my first trimester, emotional, and stressed to the max. I wanted to quit, but knew I would regret letting this opportunity slip away.
On my last attempt of the technical exam, at three months pregnant, I passed the test, and secured my spot in the cohort.
After passing the exam, I joined the Multi-Service VOIP team and felt completely lost, much like starting TAC again. I was the youngest, the only woman, the only African American, the “greenest” teammate, and still newly pregnant.
I was reluctant to tell my manager until I was about seven months along. I figured if I showed determination and resilience it would soften the blow of disappointment I expected him to feel when I delivered the news, since I had just joined his team.
His reaction was the total opposite.
He was incredibly supportive, sharing information on Sedgwick Maternity Leave benefits, Cisco’s values on family and work-life balance, his own paternity leave experience, and rejoiced at our team receiving a new “little Cisconian.” He even sent me a form to order a gift for my baby through the Land’s End Baby Gift Program. When I told the rest of my team, they were also very excited and shared their stories of parenthood and experiences of balanced work-life here at Cisco.
Even though my due date was January 3, 2022, I started my leave early because I needed all the time I could get to prepare for the baby. I said goodbye to my team on Friday, December 10, and promised to send pictures when the baby arrived.
The next Monday, during my 36-week ultrasound, it was discovered that my baby had a condition requiring immediate delivery. Despite the doctors’ reassurances, deep down, I knew something was seriously wrong.
Everything felt rushed — from the ambulance ride to the hospital to the emergency Cesarean section. When they put a mask on my face and told me to count down from five, the number three was the last thing I remember saying.
I woke up about an hour and a half later having delivered a beautiful little girl, with a head full of hair. My sweet girl lived for 24 minutes. I never got to hear her cry nor see her eyes. She was gone.
Before I left the hospital, I held my daughter. Hearing the other babies cry broke my heart. The hardest part was leaving empty-handed; no baby inside of me, nor out.
Once home, I sat in the middle of my living room floor, sobbing uncontrollably, and then it hit me. I was supposed to let my team know that I’d given birth and share pictures. That created a whole new surge of tears.
When the time came, I told my team that I had given birth but lost the baby. My team made me feel like part of a real work family during one of the hardest times of my life. Nobody pressured me to “hurry and come back to work.” Instead, the consensus was, “take all the time you need.”
I returned to work in April 2022. Those four months of maternity were definitely needed. There was no way I would have been able to return to work after six weeks the way most companies require of their employees. I had also transitioned to the People Care Marketing and Communications team in the People, Policy & Purpose organization. It felt like a fresh start, and I was ready to embark on a new journey with a new team.
There was just this one little thing — I was pregnant again!
This time it was with twins, but unfortunately, at 12 weeks, I lost one of them. It was déjà vu — I’d experienced yet another loss and was contending with losing the remaining twin. I was afraid I’d struggle to do my job because of stress and had no clue how I was supposed to tell my manager that I was going to have to go out on leave yet again. But Cisco’s family values shined once more. At six months pregnant, I told my manager. She burst into tears and said, “Why did you feel you couldn’t tell me sooner? I have been putting all this work on you that could have stressed you out and you’ve just completed every task seamlessly without a word. I could have delegated some of that work elsewhere.” But that’s how I wanted it. I wanted to show resilience, build trust, and good faith with my team. I didn’t want pity or a lighter load. I wanted to work.
My team threw me a virtual baby shower and donated heftily to a gift card that I used to buy new baby items. You see, this time, I was having a little boy.
My “rainbow after the storm,” Noah, was born in October 2022. This time, I heard his first cry, I saw his eyes, took him home, pinged my team, sent them pictures, sat on my living room floor, and held my baby until my heart was content. Finally, I could breathe again.
Noah is our little Cisconian, near and far. He has experienced countless Cisco events and trips to work with mom in his almost-two-years-of-life. He loves to write on the whiteboards, take the elevators, and get all the snacks his heart desires. He is known at several of the offices and the love my colleagues show him effortlessly will never go unnoticed. They spoil him terribly, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
It wasn’t my plan to be pregnant the first two years at “the company of my dreams.” But that’s my story and I am strong enough to tell it because this company has never required me to give more than I could ever bear.
Grateful is an understatement. Thank you, Cisco.
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